Note to my future self…
Today I started reading a book and I became absolutely fixated on it to the point where 2 hours passed by and I barely realized. To any outsider this might seem like a textbook definition of flow state.
However, today my fixation over this book was different. It bordered in obsession. It’s hard to explain but I will do my best. When I started reading this book I quickly realize that it is exactly what I should be reading. I felt like I just stumbled upon a map to a lost treasure. This realization sent my brain down a rabbit hole where I suddenly felt like I found gold and wanted to dig up as much as I could before it ran out. It’s a moment of pure euphoria for my mind, which at this point is racing a thousand miles per hours as it frantically tries to run through hundreds of mazes in parallel, trying to find new connection, trying to absorb everything.
I know this isn’t specific enough but it’s hard to convey a feeling like this in words. However, what I find truly fascinating is that I’ve actually felt this before. Moments like the one I experienced today are obviously rare but they occur.
Today’s episode made me wonder:
- What causes these sorts of moments?
- Is there a “typical” cadence to these sort of burst of obsessions?
- Should I seek to increase the frequency with which I experience these moments?
- If so, how would I even go about doing that?
- Inversion → Should I shake up my routine/tasks if I am NOT getting enough bursts of obsession?
These are all questions that I will be thinking a lot more about moving forward. Right now I’ve started to write down all the episodes of “burst obsessions” that I’ve experienced in the past 12 months. I think it’s safe to say that since these moments are so strong from a brain stimulation perspective I should be able to recall most if not all of the moments that follow the same pathology. Similarly, if I am not able to easily recall a burst of obsession maybe it shouldn’t qualify as such. In any case, I will report back with any updates.
Now back to work…