My Biggest Fear

Note to future self…

Up until today if you had asked me what’s my greatest fear my answer would have been a variation of this:

My biggest fear is to not live up to my full potential.

I’ve changed my views on this and here’s why. First, I’ve realized that human potential (however we chose to define that) is virtually uncapped. There’s no end game and you can always keep leveling up. This means that by definition I will always live in fear because I will never reach my full potential.

Second, framing my fear in this way follows a reactive rather than proactive approach. What I mean by that is that if your biggest fear is not living up to your potential you constantly have to scan for the upper boundary. In other words, you constantly have to figure out where is the goal post, which, by the way, is constantly moving. The problem with this reactive approach is that your fear is in control of you, which makes it hard to address.

Solution

So then what is my biggest fear and how can I frame it in a proactive way? Here’s my current take on it:

My biggest fear is to go through life like a zombie – not questioning things, playing status games, being distracted…

In other words, my biggest fear is to not be intentional. I enjoy this way of framing my biggest fear because it means that I can do something about it. I can question things more. I can avoid status games. I can work on improving my focus. Reframing my biggest fear in this way gives me back a sense of agency that I felt I was lacking before. In a way, I just made my biggest fear a little less scary(:

Now back to work…